Quotations and Advice for Realistic Living - Day Twenty

           

 

 
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Day 20
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Day Four Tasks

What do we worry so much about losing things that we don't even have?

By now you certainly should have noticed that these tasks have not included a direct consideration of your "significant other relationships." Of course these relationships help shape what you do and how you feel. Of course these relationships are an integral part of your self definition.

For many people, these relationships, husbands, wives, children, boyfriend girlfriend, parent, are the primary lens through which we view and judge the worth of our life.

Time to take off that lens. You can't control those people. Hopefully these tasks are beginning to show you that those relationships shouldn't be controling you. These tasks attempt to focus you on the aspects of your life that you can control. Later, as we approach day twenty, we will factor in a direct consideration. Hopefully by then, you can apply the same analytical tools that you have used to evaluate your work, your thoughts, and your surroundings to an objective look at these relationships.

These tasks need to be about you.

A note of caution here. Not everyone wants you to change. You indecision gives power to other people. And they like that. Often the people you most expect to help you will, consciously or unconsciously, work to discourage your success. When you change, they will have to change; and maybe they enjoy their life and YOUR life the way it is. Personal growth, happiness, fulfillment can be very threatening to other people. When you start making concrete decisions about your life, you remove the decision making power these other people had over you.

As much as possible, just do your thing. Don't blame them for not helping you; they don't owe you any help. DO expect them to pull their weight with the house hold tasks. Relationships are partnerships. Sharing physical work needs to just as important as sharing physical intimacy; in fact, you will find that doing housework together often culminates in the bedroom. Sharing the financial burden is equally as important.

1. Take a bath or shower. Wear cologne, perfume, deodorant, floss and brush your teeth, and clip any nose or ear hair.
2. Be sure that your bathroom is warm. As you complete the above routine, either in the morning or evening, be sure that you are wearing no clothing.

You need to start right now getting used to seeing yourself in the nude. Even if completing this is uncomfortable, just do it. You will be continuing this routine every day for the rest of the twenty days. This nudity has nothing to do with sex.

3. Make your bed and pick up the bedroom. No stray clothes, jewelry, books, newspapers ect.
4. At the end of the day, write down the first name of every person you visited with today.

On a scale of 1 to 10, write down how much affection you feel for each of these people. Circle the two names for whom you feel the least amount of affection.

5. Before you go to bed, draw out a simple chart.

On the left column, note the hours for your work day. Across the top, the heading should be "accomplished." Tomorrow, duing your work day, at the end of each hour, you will make a brief note detailing exactly what you did during that hour. It might be as simple as this: 8-9 Sorted mail, trip to mail room. 9-10 Return 6 phone calls, proofed flyer.

6. Take two more photos, adult people only.
7. At the end of the day, write down three reasons that you like your job... again, as simply as "I like my office."
8. Put $1.25 in cash in a glass on your bedstand.
Accumulating tasks... just a reminder---

Eye contact always with everyone you meet. Making your bed. Photos. Receipts.

 
 
       
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